Part II - The shadow side of ‘speaking your truth’!

When Speaking Your Truth Becomes a Power Play

In my life observations so far, the thing I’ve noticed is that not everything that gets dressed up as “truth” is actually truth.

Sometimes it’s projection. 

Sometimes it’s pain. 

Sometimes it’s control in disguise… 

I say this, because I’ve done it.

There are conversations I look back on now where I was convinced I was just “speaking my truth.”

But in hindsight?

I was pushing my version of a memory, my framework onto someone else and needing them to validate it so badly that I couldn’t see how much I was gaslighting them in the process.

I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone.

I was hurting & I needed my pain to be seen, so I forced it into the spotlight and called it truth.

But was it the whole truth or trauma trying to find a voice?

I can say now, that it’s a fine fucking line, isn’t it?

I’ve found we often speak from unhealed wounds. 

From memories that feel so real they still burn years down the line.

Speaking from our fight, flight, freeze, fawn responses; before we’ve had a chance to sit with what’s underneath our reaction.

It’s borderline punishment, for everyone involved.

This is why I feel the phrase “speak your truth” can become slippery.

Because if you’re not grounded in your body, your awareness, or your healing… you might start confusing being loud with being right & then that truth can be seen as a weapon!

We’ve all seen it.

The person who drops a verbal grenade and says, “Well… I’m just being honest.”

Or someone who says something triggering and shrugs it off with, “That’s your projection, not mine.” (When it’s likely you are both projecting).

The manipulator who uses “their truth” to justify abuse or rewrite reality.

Is it still ‘truth’ then? Or is it bypassing, or ego, or gaslighting, or all of it combined!!

I said it before & I’ll say it louder for those in the back.

There’s a line I need to draw here, especially for those who’ve survived trauma.

When we talk about people misusing the phrase “speak your truth,” we’re not talking about survivors who are finally finding their voice.

We’re not talking about people coming out of DV, SA, childhood abuse, or systemic oppression, who’ve spent years being told their truth didn’t count.

In those cases, your truth isn’t just valid, I believe it’s your sacred right!

If people around you don’t, can’t or won’t hold it, for whatever reason.. 

That is not your fault!

What we are talking about here is when the truth becomes a kind of power play.

When it’s spoken at people, not with them.

When it’s used to dominate, manipulate, or justify unprocessed pain.

And I say that with so much compassion.

Because again — I’ve lived it too.

So here’s something I’ve started doing when I feel the urge to unleash:

I pause. 

I check in with my body & ask it:

• Am I speaking from my wounds or my wisdom?

• Is this something I want to share or something I want to be agreed with?

• Am I trying to connect, or just control the narrative?

• Is this true or just true right now in my nervous system?

Because speaking your truth isn’t always the highest frequency.

Sometimes, the bone deep truth is still finding its way out!

This isn’t about being wrong in any of this.

It’s about noticing, witnessing & honouring your sacredness.

Truth, real truth, creates expansion.

It doesn’t always feel good, but it feels clean. Like fresh air. 

Like clarity.

Even if it lands hard, it doesn’t land like poison in your veins.

So maybe that’s the ultimate soul-check:

Not “Am I speaking my truth?”

But…

“Is my truth landing in alignment or covered in armour?”

If it’s armour … maybe it’s time to go deeper.

✨Next Up in This Series✨

We’ve talked about what “Speak Your Truth” means & now we’ve looked at what happens when it gets twisted.

But there’s another side to all of this. 

A quieter, more invisible cost.

The truth that doesn’t get spoken.

The one that stays buried in your belly. 

Lodged in your throat.

The one you hold in your body for years because you were never given a safe place to let it out.

In blog 3 we’re going there:

The Cost of Silence.

The energetic toll of biting your tongue.

The grief of not being believed.

The way unspoken truth festers inside the body like a wound no one wants to look at.

This one’s for the those who didn’t scream when they should have.

For the those who still can’t & for those trying to find a way to let that truth rise, without shattering themselves & everything around them.

It’s time to name what silence costs us.

Much love

Trina 💕