Part I - “ Speak your truth!”

Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion & may very well be deemed a controversial take on a phrase so widely used ✌🏼 

This reflection began after a recent session.

I looked at this beautiful woman sitting across from me, who was processing something deeply personal that arose for her & she was getting tongue tied with her words & angry at herself for not being able to express it how she wanted.

She kept apologising, so I said (like I have a hundred times before)

“Take a deep breath. Take your time & speak your truth, however that expresses itself”

When she looked at me and said,

“But what does ‘speak your truth’ even mean?”

Fuck!!! My brain exploded.. That one sentence sent my thought process into overload & took me back a second. 

Because I knew what I meant for me, but suddenly, a phrase that I’ve used, heard, read everywhere, started to look & sound a little hollow. 

Not because it’s wrong, but because I realised that it’s quite complicated. 

Which is the essence of truth at times, isn’t it?

So, together we sat there and unpacked it.

I said, “Well, what do you know about that situation? What do you remember? What do you feel?”

She started speaking. 

Speaking from her perspective, from her knowing, from her heart & when she was finished, I replied with.. 

“That…. That right there, is your truth.”

When I got back to my pet sit though, it was still swirling around in my head: that’s what people mean when they say “speak your truth.”

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that we throw that phrase around like confetti & don’t look at what may be lurking underneath it.

Welcome to my brain at 1am!!

Allow me to be clear for a moment though.. 

This is not an attack on the phrase & I am definitely not trying to say don’t use. That is well out of my wheelhouse to do so.. 

But I started thinking that if we don’t hold it with reverence and integrity, it could get real slippery, fast!

Because everyone has a different version of what “truth” even is, which doesn’t make anyone wrong.

I’ve known people to say they’re speaking their truth when really they’re projecting.

Others stay silent out of fear and call it “keeping the peace.”

Does this mean the phrase is often misunderstood, overused or worse still - weaponised?

There’s a level of discomfort in this phrase for me now & I need to meet that! 

Recognise if it becomes hollow when thrown around without depth or without awareness & what is that bringing up for me. 

So I’ll take a step back from using it for a while.

Not because I don’t believe in people using their voice — but because I fucking advocate for it.

Because I want the words that come out of my mouth to mean something.

Because I know that every word carries a resonance. A ripple. A frequency.

I say this because, I swallowed my truth for years.

I said nothing when I should’ve screamed.

I had moments where my body was begging me to speak, to rage, to cry.

But I didn’t.

Not because it wasn’t truth, but because I was scared.

Scared of being too much.

Scared of being abandoned.

Scared of rocking the boat.

So I fawned. 

I people pleased. 

I swallowed words so heavy they lodged themselves in my body like stones.

That too, is part of this conversation.

Because I do believe we all need to speak our truth, not stay silent, stop the dis-ease & look at how we speak. 

Why we speak. 

What’s really underneath the urge to purge! 

Still with me? 

How does this conversation sit with you? 

Let me throw in another layer.. 

You can put five people in a room who experienced the same event & you’ll get five completely different truths.

Not lies.

Truths.. Their truth. 

Because truth is lived. 

Felt. 

Filtered through emotion, memory, trauma, story.

That’s why I feel this whole phrase can become so sticky.

Everyone’s truth is valid. 

But no one truth is the whole truth.

That doesn’t sit well with people who want clear cut answers.

Especially not with narcissists or those who need to be right all the time.

They’ll weaponise their truth like it’s a sword! 

Which leads me to say this.. 

A quick word to my fellow survivors

Hear me clearly:

If you are someone who’s lived through domestic violence, sexual assault, childhood abuse & you were not believed;

If your truth was ignored, dismissed, twisted;

This conversation is not for you.

You don’t owe your trauma a palatable delivery.

Your truth is already sacred.

This series will not be a critique of survivors finding their voice.

It’s a deeper reflection on how we all relate to the concept of truth, in ourselves, in others & all the messy spaces between.

So Why Am I Writing This?

Because I think this phrase deserves a deeper look.

Not to tear it down, but to bring it back home.

Back to the body.

To the soul.

To the spaces we’ve left silent for too long.

This isn’t about being right.

It’s not about forcing your truth down someone else’s throat.

It’s about being honest with yourself.

Asking:

• Is this truth or trauma?

• Is this expression or control?

• Is this a truth that creates connection or builds a wall?

I don’t dislike the phrase.

But I’m choosing to not toss it around casually anymore either.

Because truth is wild. 

Sacred. 

Complex.

It deserves more than a fucking hashtag.

Yes, I’m making this a mini series.. I have too much to say about it!

I’m not here to teach you what truth is.

It’s about inviting you to feel it. 

To question it. 

To honour the process of finding it & the responsibility that comes with sharing it.

Because truth should never be the ‘it’ topic of the day.

It’s a vibration.

It’s a practice.

And it starts in our bones.

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Next up in this series:

When truth becomes a weapon & how it looks when you’ve been on either side of that story.

Because speaking your truth shouldn’t feel like pulling a trigger & hearing someone else’s truth shouldn’t feel like a hit to the chest.

But sometimes, it does.

That’s exactly why we’re having this conversation.

Peace & love

Trina 🤍